Four Years

When I was a freshman in high school I feared that I’d be a loner once again.  I didn’t think much about the ridicule, though.  I’m glad that my freshman year was the only year I experienced both of those.  For the first few months of school I was always walking around campus by myself.  Once again, I knew I looked like a loner, and I hated it.  I ran into my art teacher one time and his friend (who would be my art teacher senior year), and I hung out with them.  That was one of the more enjoyable lunch breaks I remember from that year.

Although the teasing aspect had nearly ceased, I met a few guys that would tell me a lot of crap.  One of them turned out to be pretty cool, but I wouldn’t figure that out until a year later when he actually started being cool with me.  Then there were a few girls that were kind of lame, but I dealt with their ridiculous remarks.

During sophomore year I met someone that to this day often feels more like a brother.  The guy’s a great friend, and I’m glad I formed a friendship with him.  It was around this time that I found myself listening to more and more Indie Rock.  It was a matter of time before I got into a bunch of Indie bands, and that was mostly what I listened to for the remainder of my time in high school (although my loyalty to blink182 lived on).  Until senior year, I rejected most other genres, and I hated rap and hip hop with a passion.  I was inspired by The Strokes to listen to Run DMC, and I immediately took a liking to old-school rap from the 80s and 90s.

I don’t recall much about junior year, save for the fact that my hair had grown noticeably.  (I started letting it grow sophomore year.)  Senior year was a lot of fun.  I regret slacking off as much as I did, but I can’t change the past.  I met some cool people that year, and I was more social than I had been before.  For some reason, I found that I got along with girls more than guys.  I could be myself around them, and I still made jokes that I would normally make in front of my buddies, but it was always easier to socialize with girls.  I think it may be because I grew up with two older sisters.  It was during this time that I met my first girlfriend.  It was something really nice, and I’m glad to say that we’re close friends to this day.

One thing worth mentioning is my passion for art that was really evident throughout high school.  I took art classes all four years, and I spent a lot of time working on my art, improving my skills, and just hanging out in the art room.  It was like a sanctuary.  I got along with my teachers really well, and I met some really great artists too.  Everywhere I went, I was always lugging aroud my portfolio and supplies.  To this day, art is something I hold in high regard.

Maybe it’s because I wasn’t subjected to the horrible treatment I received in Catholic school, but what I mentioned here pretty much sums up my high school years.  I made some great friends during that time, and my friendship with Matthew remained intact all that time.  A lot has changed since then, and I’d like to think that I’m a much stronger person now than I have ever been.

I’ll close this blog with two fun facts: 1.) I never attended a single school dance, not even my Prom.  (That was the one I actually wanted to go to.)  2.) I never experimented with any illegal drugs during my high school years.

That last fact is something I plan on basing my next blog on…

I Remember Being in Hell as a Kid

Looking back at my adolescence, I can easily pick out both good memories and bad.  I would say I was pretty happy as a child.  Although I don’t come from a broken home, my parents would argue occasionally.  It was tough for me as a kid, but I dealt with it.  I really don’t think it affected me all that much, but perhaps a psychologist would have something else to say about that.  Who knows?

I hated school for the most part as a kid.  I was always a good student, and I had friends, but I also faced a lot of ridicule amongst my peers.  It was tough.  Those are probably some of the worst memories I have from my childhood.  I remember being picked on and teased just about every single day.  (Not an exaggeration.)  Sure, these kids were my friends, but it seemed that everyone always had something negative to say to me.  I hated it, but I dealt with it.  It’s ridiculous how kids picked any little thing to tease me about.  Whether it was the fact that I was chubby, my light skin, or my curly hair, someone always had an insult to throw my way.  I looked forward to Friday evenings so much, because I knew I’d be getting away from all that crap for at least two days.  Even then, when I was at home and away from all of that negativity, I constantly remembered that day’s insult.  I remember getting lost in my video games.  My Nintendo 64 acted as a sort of haven.  Those long play-throughs were the sole moments when I can honestly say I didn’t think about all the BS that transpired at school.  The funniest thing is that I went to Catholic school.  It’s funny, but back then it seemed like no one there even cared about being a good person, which is something we were constantly told to be.

I can’t remember precisely, but I know for a fact that I was a loner for a large part of my elementary/middle school years.  There were times when I would play sports with the other kids during recess and lunch, and then there were times when I’d just stand by my classroom.  I felt embarrassed, and I knew I looked like a loner.  I guess that title fit me well at the time.  I was indeed a loner.  What else would you call someone who didn’t socialize with the other kids during lunch (aside from when we’d be eating)?  I remember getting that feeling of dread once everyone else started packing up their lunch and getting ready to go play.  I eagerly anticipated the ringing of the bell so we could all go back to class.  Even though people still had their harsh attitudes during class, they seemed to subside within the walls of the classroom.  All of a sudden, people were talking to me, laughing at my jokes, and including me in most of their tomfoolery.  I never was one of the popular kids that knew all the gossip, though.  I really wanted to be a part of that crowd back then.  Looking back on it, though, I’m glad I wasn’t.  Those are exactly the types of people I can’t stand nowadays.  For years now, the in-crowd has always seemed like a big pile of fermented crap to me.  No one is real, and people backstab one another without blinking.  It’s a group of people that think they’re better than everyone else, really, and that’s just something I’m glad I was excluded from.

And even though I wasn’t the happiest kid in school, I still cherish the positive moments.  I may have mentioned a lot of the bad stuff, but I had some great moments.  Goofing around in class was always a blast.  Getting reprimanded by the teacher always made me blush, though.  I always used to come up with some outlandish crap that made people laugh.  I remember getting a message in my yearbook from Matthew who, to this day, is my best friend.  I can’t recall the entire note, but it was something about me being funny and being perverted.

I went to a few birthday parties, mainly in 8th grade.  Those were fun times.  There was some negativity a few of those times, but the memories regarding those parties are generally positive.  Then there was the Harvest Festival one year.  I honestly don’t remember much about that event, save for the fact that it was an enjoyable night overall.

The day I graduated 8th grade, I could have sworn I was going to keep in touch with most of the other kids.  To this day, I only keep in touch with three of those people.